sooo once again i will update the 3 people who read this about whats new in my life:

my wedding plans have changed (again!) and i will be getting married on September 19th 2009 now. so THIS SUMMER!!!! we are extremely excited! the reason for this change: money and time. we decided we didnt want to spend 8 THOUSAND dollars on one day (this was just the cost for food and rental, not everything else on top!) plus we didnt want to be engaged for a whole year. we just really wanted to be married sooner, and cheaper. so now here’s the plan: nicks backyard! haha! his parents have about an acre of land in shorewood where we can have a moderately sized party. ceremony and reception. nick will do lots of landscaping this summer to make it look pretty. and there will be lots of other things to plan out. but we will be saving thousands of dollars this way. blessing: my dad might buy a house in florida to winter there when they retire, and if he has one by sept, we could use it for our honeymoon. blessing #2: hes putting us up in a fancy hotel (st. paul hotel!!!!) the night of the wedding! blessing #3: it will be WARM on my wedding day! i have always dreamed of an outside wedding and now it will be happening. there are many more details about wedding stuff that still need to get figured out and it stresses me out alot… but the main thing is, we just really want to be married. and in the end i could really care less how it happens. but im much more excited now!

in other news: its been about 7 months straight of working non stop, 6 days a week. i have sundays off and thats it. its starting to get old. i basically feel like i have zero time to relax or do anything fun. and if i have alot going on during the week, then by the time i get to sunday, im so exhausted that i basically sleep in and sit around wasting the day trying to rest. whats funny is that im still always broke. but while i sit and poor-me-why-me, i should be thankful, i have two jobs, some people have zero. i live on my own, and not with my parents, which is good since they just moved to rochester. and while there have been the occasional car trouble, thus broke for 2 weeks, and so on, i was able to buy a plane ticket to see chelsea in new york, with my own money… so i am greatly looking forward to that. i think i just really hate money, and wish my existence in the world didnt depend on me making some. i just want to be able to live in an apartment and work an adequate amount to not be exhausted but have enough money for bills. but now im just dreaming. yet another reason i am excited to be married… two incomes. which makes me sound like a gold digger, but for real my life will be so much nicer when i can work less.  and in general ive just been really discontent lately about everything. but i could really emotionally barf right now so i will stop. and this is really long so no one will read this far anyways. but in a nutshell: i look at my life and i have  nothing to complain about, im in love, getting married, have wonderful friends and family who are supportive. but for some reason, i still find myself complaining, about stupid things. so that will be what im going to work on for a while. being happy about my life and not complaining when things dont matter.

until my life looks different again, goodbye.

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